friday nights. (i wish)

i feel like letting someone hug me while i cry myself to sleep over nothing.
i feel like doing something that really, really hurts me.
it feels like i'm twelve again and i need some stupid ritual to hurt me.
like burning some words with a purple-souvenir-candle
and have some of mother's cashasha (or something)
and stare at the down-stairs bathroom mirror looking scared.
thank god i don't speak to a "magic-sacred-collar" anymore.
thank god i'm not twelve anymore.
even thow the alcohol part doesn't sound that bad.

i wish i had something to say. it'd make me feel better.
i wish i wasn't left alone.
i wish she wasn't that fucking histerical.
i wish the thought of him being with a girl right now didn't hurted as bad.
i wish my best friend wasn't such a fucking ego-maniac.
i wish i could stand the "pip-talks" of my clueless friends.
i wish he hadn't become that alturistic jerk. maybe i could talk to him.
i wish i knew better why i feel this sheety. i'd had a chance at fixing it.
i wish someone would take me seriously when i say i feel like sheet.

what is it about friday nights?
oh if it were only friday nights..